Dirty Nasty Filthy Hearts
Date: Thu, 25 Apr 1996 22:56:28 -0400
From: Shiva Ctylyctyc <deleted>
Subject: Dirty Nasty Filty Hearts
great page! As a long-time undergrad, I've had plenty of time to
master plenty cards games ... I played cards before I came to
college, but the level of competition on campus was much better. My
two favorite card games are Hearts and Spades, in that order. Our
variation of hearts, however, comes from the Deep South, and it's
called Dirty Nasty Filthy (pron. Dutty, Nah-tay, Fil-thay) Hearts.
Here's how the variants, along with the slang terms:
We call throwing hearts "painting", lookng for the Queen of Spades
"Beating [the bush] for the Bitch", and the Queens of Clubs and
Hearts "The Weak Bitches" because the QoC is in the main throwoff
suit, and the Queen of Hearts is in the paint suit. Low cards are
called "duckers" and it is a habit of players to yell "That aint no
duckah!" just before they paint your lead. Especially if your lead
should have been a ducker, but you messed up in counting.
- We play with the Jack as -10 ("The Lil Man").
- You need 300 points to exit.
- Why? Because the Queen of Spades ("The Queen Bitch") is worth
26 points, and the other three Queens are worth 13 points
- Shooting affects only the person to your left, and you win the
- If you shoot, the person to your left must vacate for the next
waiting player, if any.
- No points may be thrown on the first trick ("The Calm").
- the duece of clubs still starts.
- the dealer calls pass after cutting and before dealing. He may
also do variants (two-left, one-right), as long as it's three
- We have a special pass called "Shitting in the Kitty" ...
everyone passes to the middle, and those cards are shuffled and
dealt by the dealer.
Obviously, we've been playing hearts a good while. We did not
make this variant, however, with the exception of a few rules.
This variant takes the game's stategy to a cutthroat level.
Various nuances now exist, consider this:
Go play it and then email me with your thoughts! Plus, my cardmates
and I would love to see it added to your page as a variant.
- You now need the queen of each suit in order to shoot.
- Since you can win by shooting, it is still in no-one's interest
to help you, unless they wish to vacate the person to your left
(with four players, this becomes moot beyond bragging).
- How to get that damn Jack without getting that Queen of
Diamonds("Rich Bitch" or "Money Bitch"). Some people call it the
"Thief Bitch" because it can steal your -10 and leave you with
- A certain amount of diplomacy comes into play, so that people
don't decide to help the person to your right shoot you. They tend
to do this if you win a lot or get obnoxious.
- This form is quite easily converted to a vicious drinking
- Playing this game just once will clarify it's name immensely,
and you'll never view Hearts the same way again. Quite frankly, if
DNF Hearts is to Hearts what Bid Wist is to Spades.
Back to Alan's Hearts
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